How to master a 10 minute 10 step process that effortlessly heals the wounds of marital pain and creates a space for a natural and easy love.

Learn how to transform the pain and begin stacking love experiences.

No more…

Denying yourself to meet his needs
Feeling like time is running out
Scared stiff that you will end up alone
Counseling that only you want
Thinking you are unworthy and unlovable
Awkward don’t-talk-about-the-elephant date nights
Recycling the pain and disconnect over and over
Romantic getaways that avoid the real issues
Trying to win him back
Working hard to be more desirable
Trying to communicate better when he won’t hear
Tension and stress when he walks in the door

Relief from the pain and Tension

I was a Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice for 20+ years with over 25,000 direct client hours.

A person or couple (doesn’t matter, the process is the same) would plop on my couch. The pain was etched on their face. Their body language screamed tension. Their eyes had this distant stare.

The agony, the problems, the self deprecating thoughts, the words of blame and hurt spewed into the heavy air.

At some point, which I intuitively knew was right, I pulled up my chair and/or made a comment that cut through the pain and fear.

Silence.
Tears.
Knowing.
The face, eyes and body came alive with
deep long breaths.
A smile.
A gaze at the other that said, “It’s ok.”

This was a moment of relief and release. It was healing. It was a new form of love. Couples would look at each other with new eyes and shared the silence with hope.

Individuals marched out of my office, backs straight and heads held high.

I was pleased, although not entirely sure of what I did to generate such a transformation.

And, the bad news. Often weeks or months later that same person or couple would return with the same impasse.

They could not sustain the success and to make matters worse, they were dependent on me to help them.

My Wife Had Affair

Then my wife had an affair in midlife. Now it was my turn. I felt the agony, to put it mildly.

We went to four different therapists – a disaster.

My gut hurt. I was confused. I had images of them. I, a Marriage and Family Therapist, had no clue – only pain.

I had to understand. I needed some sort of resolution. My
well-being as a person and helping professional was at stake.

I locked myself in my office on weekends to study, research, read, reflect and write about infidelity.

An E-book, “Break Free From the Affair” (the first in the niche) was the result.

I gained clarity on the affair in our marriage. I felt relief.
I understood the motives and drive for her affair (formed long before I met her.) I found a modicum of peace. I was affirmed.

“Break Free From the Affair” became a best seller – thousands
of copies sold – a load of testimonials on how the information gave understanding, saved their sanity and in some
cases their marriage.

You Want Marital Pain to Heal, NOT become a Scar

There was more.

In the months that followed I discovered that the affair would not let me go.

Yes, I understood the affair dynamics. I felt relief after debunking the myths of infidelity. My wife and I worked toward resolution.

But, the deep pain and the hurt that erupted in questions and images wouldn’t let me go. The wound became a deep scar which was forever a reminder.

I longed for total healing of the wound.

The Elephant

My coaching clients consistently presented me with this dilemma: the affair ended and/or there was a commitment to stay in the marriage.

The betrayed spouse had questions, wanted answers and lived in the never never emotionally quivering land
of mistrust.

The cheating spouse 9 times out of 10 responded with: “It’s over! I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s move on!”

The tough impregnable scar began forming over the
deep wound.

Trouble. True “love” was no longer possible; only a colluded effort to maintain distance and walk around the elephant.

Changing behavior got results. Changing thinking
offered relief.

But, what about lasting eradication of the affair ghost and a deep sense of healing which offered an opportunity to experience full resolution and love in its deepest form?

I embarked on a new quest. I needed to heal, not merely find relief. I needed to help others take that next step and build a trusting fearless love.

Use The Power of the Unconscious

I knew that the seeds of affairs and all marital impasses and crisis were sown in history. Family of origin issues, deeply embedded almost autonomous coping mechanisms ruled life – beyond one’s conscious awareness. (This is not an excuse, but a factor, especially with my wife’s affair.)

I knew the power of the unconscious. I had experience using EMDR and watched powerful changes. I had training in trance induction and hypnotherapy and used it effectively.

Epigenetics taught me that the chemical component of trauma is locked into our cells and can be passed from generation to generation through our DNA. I knew my deeper response to my wife’s affair was influenced by my grandfather who ran away from his abusive father. (Now, that’s a LONG story!)

If I wanted deep healing, if I wanted to experience a deeply satisfying fearless love I needed to address my unconscious.

And, if I could do that I had something to offer the world and fulfill my life’s purpose.

I spent eight years developing a replicable, step by step process.

I was the first Guinea pig.

I uncovered an inner process that bit by bit generated healing.

I spent at least 20 minutes each day, often more in the beginning, attending to my healing and transformation.

I started calling it the FORMULA. I didn’t like the word, but it was all I had.

I refined the step by step process and it became the

Healing Marriage Matrix, a 10 step 10 minute process that effortlessly heals the wounds of marital pain and creates a space for a natural and easy love.

Soooo, I’ve spent the last 3 decades learning how to heal/love and offering my hard won wisdom to the world.

I’m thrilled you are here and offer you my wisdom.

Here’s What Some Have Said…

I have been trying to rebuild my marriage after infidelity broke it apart two years ago. I have been in therapy and applying myself to healing using various authors, programs, and therapists. I am at a point in the marriage where I felt that it had to move and go somewhere or it would consume me. I once again found myself at this site and it is immensely helpful, honest and hits you with the right language which, in turn, is refreshing from other therapies in which the truth and the reality of the situation is unveiled and verified – in contrast to the fluffy filling therapists often try to fill you with without letting the true validation surface.

This knowledge helped to saved my marriage .
Much grateful.

Violet

Straight Forward, Real and Doable
I want you to know that your course helped me far more than any of the others because it was straight forward, real and doable. I’ve done the 27 days and it works. I am constantly going back to refresh myself with things to think about. It’s a great resource to see just how far I’ve come.

Thank you so much. Your materials have been my saviour. I have rediscovered myself and found my inner strength and will just be me, the one i used to be that somewhere along the line got lost.
Kind regards

Debra

Voice of Confidence, Assurance, and Guidance
Thank you for being a voice of confidence, assurance, and guidance in this quagmire. At last somebody who was giving practical advice, somebody who called ‘a spade, a spade’, somebody who, above all, never gave up on me and understood my dilemma and my hesitance to order and pay for the E-books over the internet.

Immensely Helpful, Honest and Hits you with the Right Language
I have been trying to rebuild my marriage after infidelity broke it apart two years ago. I have been in therapy and applying myself to healing using various authors, programs, and therapists. I am at a point in the marriage where I felt that it had to move and go somewhere or it would consume me. I once again found myself at this site and it is immensely helpful, honest and hits you with the right language which, in turn, is refreshing from other therapies in which the truth and the reality of the situation is unveiled and verified. * In contrast to the fluffy filling therapists often try to fill you with without letting the true validation surface.

Thanks again for your site because it helps put me back on the path of reality and truth and gives me comfort and hope. May God bless

Carol

Your approach is really different and unique. You have carved out quite a niche for yourself! Michelle

Michelle

Easy read. Well written. Calms the anxious mind.
Interesting to learn about marriage “myths” and wrong ideas. No wonder things weren’t’ getting better when I was going down the laundry list of fixing his complaints!

So many times I’ve wanted to yell, “I want a divorce!” but haven’t. Now I realized there is a better way to address the problems.

Get Access Now

Now you can have access to course and lessons that have helped thousands transform their marital pain, fears, mistrust, disappointment, vulnerability, distance and negative energy into a Natural and Easy love.

Yes, Dr. Huizenga. Send me my username and password to access the “Marriage Building Online Course” for a One Time Payment of $297.

Add to Cart for a One Time Payment of $297

Yes, Dr. Huizenga. Send me my username and password to access the “Marriage Building Online Course” for Only 3 Monthly Payments of $117
Each.

Add to Cart for the First Monthly Payment of $117. (2 Monthly Payments to Follow)

Baby Steps… Really?

Remember the movie, “What about Bob?” A successful psychotherapist (Richard Dreyfuss) loses his mind after one of his most dependent patients (Bill Murray) tracks him down during his family vacation.

(BTW, I took a lot of good natured grief when that movie came out.)
Anyway, in one scene Murray continuously mutters, “Baby steps. Baby steps. One little step at a time and I can do anything.”.

Start with Baby Steps. The Marriage Building Online Course holds your hand as you take sequential steps in healing and transformation.

Step #1: See the larger picture.

You are in this loving/healing process for the long haul whether you are in a martial relationship – or not.

These lessons start you on the right track:

Step #2: Is It Worth It?

You can only save a relationship if you are committed to it. Ambivalence keeps you forever on a fence of tension and uncertainty.

These lessons help you gain clarity:

Step #3: You must experience success quickly.

Find relief quickly. Get results fast. You need a hit of success to get going and know the possibilities – even though the results will be temporary.

The Quick Marriage Turn Around Course offers these lessons:

Step #4: You must embrace a new way of understanding how relationships work.

Find relief quickly. Get results fast. You need a hit of success to get going and know the possibilities – even though the results will be temporary.

The Quick Marriage Turn Around Course offers these lessons:

Introductory video: Introduction to Counterintuitive Secrets
10 Dangerous Ideas about Marriage
The Familiar Position
Why Marriages Fail (Why Marriages Fail,Tension: The #1 Marriage Killer, How Tension Destroys a Marriage, The Problem with Cinderella)
Evaluate your Marriage (Your Marriage Mood, The Red, Yellow or Green Marriage, The Green Marriage, 22 Qualities that Create Emotional Connection)
How a Marriage Works (The Tricycle – 3 Wheels of Marriage Building, From Dualistic thinking to Triad, Dualistic thinking, 13 Qualities of a Deeply Loving Marriage)

Step #5: Where does your spouse fit?

Should you ask them to participate? Should you start alone? What to do?

Course: What if My Spouse Won’t Participate? (or is not around?) These lessons clarity:

Step #6: Master the Healing Marriage Matrix

This process reaches the unconscious and offers an opportunity to let go of the painful old. A space is created for healing and a new experience of love.

You will be guided and trained in:

Where to begin. What to talk about and what not to talk about or bring up (i.e. don’t take about feelings, the problem(s), etc.
Identifying channels of pain and hurt (and the toxic assumptions that keep you recycling those fears and hostility.)
Discover the unique way you cope with your pain and hurt.
Identify the goals (mostly subtle) that drive you.
Learn how to transform the power of those goals.
Experience a love/healing that is powerful and lasting.
Begin setting loving goals rather than automatically living by toxic assumptions and goals.
Live out the 3 Love Laws.

The Healing Marriage Matrix Works, even if….

Your spouse has checked out, either emotionally, physically or geographically.

One spouse always wants it more than the other. One is ALWAYS distancing. You will discover that you need not try to “win him back” or even “work on the relationship.” Doesn’t work. Change actions. Change thoughts. Heal the pain. Orient your life around the Love Laws. Then watch what happens! (BTW, IF your spouse IS on board, I strongly suggest you first do the lessons and learn the HMM method separately.)

You think you’ve tried it all, said it all.

No, you haven’t. You have merely dwelt in your small limited world. (This is not criticism of you. This is reality. ALL of our worlds are small.) There is more love, peace and joy awaiting you than you can imagine. And, there are limitless ways of getting there.

You think it’s too late.

A Natural and Easy love is only available to those over 42! Love (in our culture) prior to 42 is based on a romanticized, sexualized attraction. Affairs are an attempt (that doesn’t work) to recapture that type of “love.” The confusion and letting go of mid-life opens the door to a radically mature love that far transcends what went before.

You might be thinking, “We will need to spend thousands on therapy that will last for weeks to get our relationship on track.”

Here’s my take coming from decades as a therapist. You can spend thousands. And it CAN last for months. Therapy CAN be helpful, especially in changing thinking and behaviors. But, a good therapist is extremely difficult to find. If you must find one, make sure they are 45 or older. And, please know that the shelf life for results from behavioral-cognitive therapy are time limited.

I’ve spent a decade taking the most effective strategies, concepts and tools from my experience as a therapist and condensing them into Courses and lessons that are practical, focused and doable. I want you to be your own therapist. Take my work with you!

You might be thinking, “I don’t want to dig into feelings. I don’t want to talk our problems to death. (I know s/he doesn’t want that!) I’m scared of what might come up.”

I don’t believe in navel gazing. I’m not big on catharsis or getting the feelings “out.” My supervisor used to call that emotional masturbation. I’m not big on rehashing the past or talking about needs and what you want to change.

I am big on “noticing” what gets brought up in you in specific situations. The more specific you are and the finer the distinctions you make the greater the relief and healing. The Healing Marriage Matrix is a tool that uncovers the love that is part of your nature, is you. Using HMM when appropriate offers you a lifetime of stacking one love experience upon another.

Act Now

I’m excited to be sharing this OFFER with you today!
I want to share with you the hard earned wisdom, imparted by working with people like you, over the past decades.

Yes, Dr. Huizenga. Send me my username and password to access the “Marriage Building Online Course” for a One Time Payment of $297.

Add to Cart for a One Time Payment of $297

Yes, Dr. Huizenga. Send me my username and password to access the “Marriage Building Online Course” for Only 3 Monthly Payments of $117
Each.

Add to Cart for the First Monthly Payment of $117. (2 Monthly Payments to Follow)

Remember…

The answers are within you. A part of you knows what you seek and how to seek it. There is a reservoir of understanding, awareness and knowing to tap into. You are your own genius.

You are worthy of love. You possess an infinite worth. You are here to love and be loved. Nothing is more important… really! You can embrace and uncover this sense of worthiness.

You are unique. There is no one else like you. This uniqueness has its own special purpose. As you tap into your uniqueness and gifts you grace your relationship(s) and world and welcome love.

The Marriage Building Online Course offers you the tools, strategies, support and encouragement to find a love that is Natural and Easy.

Get Access to the Marriage Building Online Course Now!

Yes, Dr. Huizenga. Send me my username and password to access the “Marriage Building Online Course” for a One Time Payment of $297.

Add to Cart for a One Time Payment of $297

Yes, Dr. Huizenga. Send me my username and password to access the “Marriage Building Online Course” for Only 3 Monthly Payments of $117
Each.

Add to Cart for the First Monthly Payment of $117. (2 Monthly Payments to Follow)

I'm excited to share this offer to you.

See you on the inside,

Bob

P.S. Learn how to:

Change your behavior and change your marriage (quickly)
Change your thinking and change your marriage.
Use the Healing Marriage Matrix (a 10 step, 10 minute process) that effortlessly heals the wounds of marital pain and creates a space for a natural and easy love.

I’ve spent a lifetime, personally and professionally, learning and expanding my world to become the love I know I am and to help others move in that direction.

This is the greatest journey waiting for you. There is no other that carries this importance.

I’ve valued beyond words the moments in which I experienced the peace, calm and strength of that love and felt a deep sense of connection as others found these moments of love and strength.

I honor your journey. I welcome you to this page.

How to master a 10 minute 10 step process that effortlessly heals the wounds of marital pain and creates a space for a natural and easy love.

Relief from the pain and Tension

My Wife Had Affair

You Want Marital Pain to Heal, NOT become a Scar

The Elephant

Use The Power of the Unconscious

Here’s What Some Have Said…

Get Access Now

100% Money Back Guarantee...

Baby Steps… Really?

Step #1: See the larger picture.

Step #2: Is It Worth It?

Step #3: You must experience success quickly.

Step #4: You must embrace a new way of understanding how relationships work.

Step #5: Where does your spouse fit?

Step #6: Master the Healing Marriage Matrix

The Healing Marriage Matrix Works, even if….

Your spouse has checked out, either emotionally, physically or geographically.

You think you’ve tried it all, said it all.

You think it’s too late.

You might be thinking, “We will need to spend thousands on therapy that will last for weeks to get our relationship on track.”

You might be thinking, “I don’t want to dig into feelings. I don’t want to talk our problems to death. (I know s/he doesn’t want that!) I’m scared of what might come up.”

Act Now

100% Money Back Guarantee...

Remember…

Get Access to the Marriage Building Online Course Now!

100% Money Back Guarantee...

I'm excited to share this offer to you.

Bob

P.S. Learn how to: