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Need Help? Call us at 231-760-5719
Email: Bob@bobhuizenga.com

Get Two Digital E-Books for Only $4.95 and…

The No Risk Way to Make
Your Cheating Husband Blink
Without Playing Games

Works 85% of the time

Yes, I Want the E-Books
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bob

Over 3 Decades of
Experience, Wisdom
Helping People

I will give you two incredibly valuable tools used by thousands since 2002 that saved their sanity and helped them move ahead.

Dear Betrayed Spouse,

My name is Bob Huizenga

I will show you what you can do in the next 48 hours to upset the affair… and feel better – many say empowered.

If your spouse is having or had an affair and…

  • You walk around in a daze, feeling the ache in your stomach and hurt in your heart.
  • You feel frozen – the thought of confronting him terrifies.
  • You are emotionally all over the place.
  • You feel devastated and betrayed beyond words.
  • You feel alone and hopeless.

In 2000, I began specializing in infidelity. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist I was propelled by a lack of available good knowledge in the professional community about infidelity. This became a mission when I my wife’s affair gutted me! You say, “It hurts!” I know what you mean!

Over the years, I’ve perfected the Recovery Process:

  • First, you need to experience success in addressing the infidelity – getting a different response and feeling better about yourself.
  • You need to rethink infidelity. It’s not about “falling in love” with someone else. Affairs are not about love but old internal ghosts.
  • You need to identify the type of affair (I list 7.) The more distinctions you make, the better the recovery and resolution.
  • You need to develop YOUR specific plan to speak to the infidelity – using one or more of the 16 skills I teach.
  • Once the affair is resolved you rebuild (or get closure) on the relationship.
2books

“The 6 Most Common Killer Mistakes” and “Charging Neutral – Quickly Defuse Your Marital Crisis,” offered on this page give you first step tools to influence the affair and get positive results.

Testimonials

Thank you for a voice of confidence, assurance, and guidance in this quagmire.
Judy

You have been a champion of the wounded spouse and all of us suffering from infidelity. Thank you
Lynnette

Your e-book has kept me sane.
Karen

I am an educated professional and was skeptical about a self-publish self-help book. but your advice is wise, anticipates my questions and is reassuring.
Georgia

I just read your book and that it lets me know I am not crazy is fantastic. You have made my evening and by the way I am all the way in Jamaica.
Jasmine

Thanks for demystifying affairs for so many people.
Lynnette

Yes, send me the E-Books for only $4.95

I Was a Marriage and Family Therapist and My Wife Had an Affair! Go Figure!

I had a successful private practice as a Marriage and Family Therapist. We had 3 healthy children, good friends, were active in the church and, I thought, were fairly “normal.”

Then, beginning mid-life, the bomb was dropped. She was having an affair.

I remember putting on my running shoes and heading for the dunes along Lake Michigan. I ran and ran and ran and with my chest wanting to explode, collapsed on a dune.

I lived the hurt.

I felt the shame and guilt and feared the loss of so much dear to me.

I had good friends (clinical psychologist and MFT) who listened and cared, but did not have significant advice. Even though professionals, information on infidelity was not part of their training.

I Wanted to Scream at the Counselor(s)

My wife and I saw 4 different therapists over A period of nine months.

I attempted to bring up the issue of her infidelity. The therapists shied away from the topic. One actually said to me, ” I don’t think that is helpful.”

The emphasis was on the marriage.

The underlying push: “What is wrong with your marriage that this would happen?” I.e. Bob, what did you do or better yet, not do, to cause her to stray?”

I wanted to spit nails. I was seething but didn’t know what to say or why I felt so intently.

I knew there was more… much more.

My wife was removed from her biological home by social services when she was 7 and was adopted out to a “normal” family when she was 8. Of course, she had “issues” which were played out in the affair.

They were never addressed.

My Weekends Were a Gift

As a result of my pain, frustration, anger, loss and unresolved hurt, I began a quest.

Almost obsessively I began to research and study this thing called infidelity. I paid close attention to my clients and their experiences of betrayal – trying to understand what was helpful and moved toward recovery.

For almost a year I spent every weekend holed up in my office.

I reflected.

I studied.

I read and most importantly I began writing.

I outlined and put on paper my insights, hard earned wisdom and concepts that gave clarity about infidelity and the act of betrayal.

This was my healing.

This became my contribution.

The World Welcomed
“Break Free From the Affair”

I was fortunate two major events in my life would merge.

Writing “Break Free From the Affair” was an act of healing.

The infancy of the Internet at that time enabled me to share “Break Free From the Affair” with the world.

“Break Free From the Affair” (the first e-book on infidelity in 2002) became an instant success.

Thousands of copies were sold and daily I received emails and testimonials. Others sang its praises. Some went so far as to say it saved their life.

I was grateful. I was affirmed. I was committed to continue sharing my wisdom and growing insights.

Many mentioned the Appendix: “The 6 Common Typical Killer Mistakes that Prolong the Affair and Your Misery”

Over and over I heard, “I was doing all of the Killer Mistakes. Stopped them and Wow! I got their attention.”

Those facing infidelity clamored for more: more support, more information, more wisdom and more direction.

They wanted the nightmare resolved.

Testimonials

I just want you to know how comforting I've found "Break Free... " I am actually beginning to personally detach myself from this whole situation. There is no comparison between my present mental/emotional state today and just 3 weeks ago. I feel pretty confident to confront my husband now.

I read it Monday night and by Tuesday, I felt really good. I felt like I could control of everything and not have him in my thoughts every second.

I clearly identified what kind of "cheater" my husband is and feel a great sense of relief as well as strategies on how to approach him accordingly.

My wife had a #6, she needed to prove her desirability. Your book, which I now suggest to everyone in my situation, really nailed her personality type and issues related to the affair.

Thank you, I feel like I have an answer now and help. Thank you again. Bless you for helping so many people. I wish I had found your site a year ago and I might not be in this mess. Sincerely,

Debra.

It has helped me in regaining self-confidence before I take any decision about my marriage. Getting to know that his affair was HIS decision and not my fault, has helped me to stay strong and focused.

Knowing the type of Affair helps to understand the why, and how to go about making the decision whether or not to stay in the marriage.

It was like a road map because I wanted to work on my marriage but did not have any clues.

I am going into my third year since the discovery date, and have to say that you and your courses have been a saving grace in my life. My Husband of 32 years and I have chosen to stay together and work on our marriage, and your information was key in many of my decisions into understanding this roller coaster of a ride. Thanks,

Susan B

Yes, send me the E-Books for only $4.95

I Sold my "Couch"

I closed the door on my private practice and sold my therapeutic couch.

A new world, literally, was before me.

  • I learned how to design and develop my own websites which were visited by 100,000s.
  • I blogged and blogged and blogged.
  • I held webinars attended by people from 6 continents. (probably not Antartica!)
  • I set up forums where the betrayed found a home and friends sharing the same hurt and confusion. (Some became so tight they met physically in different cities.)
  • I began to create spin off books, wrote 100s of articles and lessons (The Infidelity Recovery Center and the Marriage Building Online Course.)
  • On Facebook I offered an Infidelity Support Group which today has 33,000 members!
  • I offered coaching via phone or teleconferencing and provided office hours to address questions.
  • Hundreds gifted me with their hurt, confusion and pain - necessary for my professional development.
  • As I coached and collaborated, I continued to refine my concepts and tools, knowing with certainty they would get results - they would work.
  • As a helper I became more effective, focused, compassionate and directive.
  • As a person, I found myself on a path of healing and restoration. I was able to identify my “issues” which were triggers for others and let go of some of them. (This is still an ongoing process, which you will find true for yourself, as well.) The more “free” I became, the more helpful I became.

Follow This Recovery Road Map

The discovery of infidelity brings about confusion, chaos, turmoil and pain beyond words. It is a trauma. As I worked with and received input from literally thousands I began to see patterns and themes in the recovery process. There is a way out; actually there are three key modalities to recovery.
  1. You must experience initial success – quickly. If not, you can swirl in your pain and turmoil, never finding recovery. I coached a 60 year old woman who seethed with anger and recoiled with hurt for her husband’s affair – 30 years ago And, you CAN experience success, get results, influence the affair and get your cheating spouse’s attention quickly. Change particular behaviors and watch what happens. (See the offer below.)
  2. Unfortunately the change you experience by shifting your behavior(s) is temporary. It doesn’t have lasting power.The second component of recovery is rethinking infidelity. The power of “Break Free From the Affair” was helping thousands change their thinking about infidelity. For example, infidelity is not about love; it’s about past ghosts and unfinished business. The marriage (or your behavior) did not cause the affair. There is a boat load of myths, misunderstandings and stereotypes about affairs that need to be destroyed and replace with reality.

    Most conventional advice focuses on the treatment of infidelity. Change your behavior and/or change your thinking. Again, these will work… for a short period of time
  3. 90% of your decisions come not from what you rationally, with your mind, choose to do with your behavior or thinking. 90% (or more) of what you do emerges from your unconscious. Changing your thinking about infidelity and your behavior is just the starting point. It gets you going.

    The unconscious is the reservoir of HEALING. I discovered and put into a FORMULA a process to tap into this reservoir to create a lasting love and TRUST.

You Are 2 E-books Away From Starting Your Recovery the Right Way – the Effective Way

Over the years testimonials came pouring in for “The Six Common KILLER Mistakes” and “Charging Neutral – Quickly Defuse Your Marital Crisis.”

I want you to have a Highly Acclaimed tools for only %4.95!

Key Points

  • Upon discovery of infidelity you knee jerk react (resort to automatic coping patterns to deal with the emotions.) They seem logical and rational and you think, have a good chance of working. But they don’t, and may send you into a more messy tailspin.
  • Continued use of the Killer Mistakes usually strengthens the affair relationship.
  • It will be easy for you to stop the Killer Mistakes, especially when in great pain. You can experiment with giving yourself hours or days to stop the behaviors and see what happens.
  • The results will most likely be temporary. But they will enable you to move to the next steps of rethinking infidelity and using the unconscious for healing.
  • Almost everyone I coach, first says, “I’ve done all the Killer Mistakes!” I say, “Welcome to the human race.”
2books
Get The E-Books +
Bonus Today!

Here’s what might happen:

  • You change the rules of the relationship. S/he no longer can count on you to be predictable.
  • If your spouse has relied upon you to be a “rock” or the predictable one, this will be upsetting. S/he will watch you very closely. You may begin to notice shifts and changes in behavior. S/he may become more talkative, more disclosing and more attentive. S/he may begin to question the wisdom of the cheating.
  • Your spouse will have a greater respect for you. You approach him/her no longer out of your neediness or as a game player, but as a person taking a thoughtful conscious break from the insanity.
  • You cheating spouse may be enraged, attempting to elicit the old behaviors. The hidden message: “get back to where you were. I need you there for me to be who I now am. You are ruining my intentions.”
  • No changes may take place in the relationship. S/he continues as is. This may inform you that s/he is presently self absorbed and incapable of connecting with anyone.
  • Your spouse may be relieved. This MAY indicate that s/he has little emotional connection to the marriage or relationship and is on the way out. (This is true for most affair types, but usually not for #4: “I Fell out of Love... and just love being in love.”)

Testimonials

Your approach is really different and unique. You have carved out quite a niche for yourself!

Michelle

Thank you, I feel like I have an answer now and help. Thank you again. Bless you for helping so many people. I wish I had found your site a year ago and I might not be in this mess. Sincerely,

Debra

This is the one year anniversary of my life turning upside down due to an affair. You helped me to move beyond the hurt and to focus more clearly as I made some very hard decisions regarding my wifeís infidelity. The guidance you provided was invaluable, both for understanding the affair and myself. Thank you.

Tim R

You have opened a well-spring of ideas for me. Thanks!

Kelly

“Charging Neutral - Quickly Defuse Your Marital Crisis” and the workbook: “The Basics of Charging Neutral - How to get your spouse to respond differently”

The Most Powerful Tool in 30 Years as a Marriage and Family Therapist

Take the lead in your relationship. Point it to health, understanding, acceptance, validation, reality and hope. (You are not guaranteed your partner or spouse will follow, but Charging Neutral gives you the BEST CHANCE of resolution.)

Charging Neutral removes you from the victim role. You now take charge, not of your spouse or even the relationship, but of YOU. YOU become a significantly power player in the marriage or relationship.

Charging Neutral enables and empowers you to address the serious issues WITHOUT an uproar or someone walking away.

Charging Neutral is middle ground between being sweet and nice and reacting angrily with little control of words and actions.

Charging “Neutral means stating your position and self clearly without apology and with inner calmness. (Easier said than done!)

charging
charging-neutral

Charging Neutral is not a gimmicky tool to use in a one and done situation. You carry Charging Neutral with you in all walks of life, marriage, family, vocation and friendships.

Charging neutral occurs when you move beyond your personal neediness in that moment. This is a tremendous challenge since, for most of us, our neediness runs below the surface of our lives and unknowingly controls our actions and responses.

Charging neutral means you learn from each encounter. You become curious about who you are and how you respond.

There is a charge in Charging Neutral. That charge often creates movement, clarification, release and relief from the stuffed feelings and nagging thoughts. By charging I mean continually addressing the issues that are extremely important in building deeper and richer intimacy, understanding and the capacity to hear and be heard.

Charging Neutral neutralizes the anger.

Ready to Shake up the Affair and Get
Different Results? Get these Proven Ebooks
for Only $4.95 and See What Happens

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Yes, I Want the E-Books and Bonus

$4.95? Why Not FREE?

As a MFT in private practice I seldom accepted insurance payments. I observed that those who used insurance to pay for sessions typically lacked an investment in their therapy.

Second, insurance companies demanded a DSM diagnosis (the “pathology.”) My view on human nature is different.

Third, the use of insurance sets up a triangle: me, the client and the insurance company. Triangles lend themselves to tension or worse.

I could say much more about my position here, much more… maybe later.

$4.95 is a Symbol of…

  • …Your investment. I prefer not to work with freebie seekers, those looking for a quick fix, tire kickers or anyone looking for a magic wand or pixie dust. (Infidelity broke my wand!)
  • …My first invitation is for you to join me in healing, change and growth. You learn from me. I learn from you. My wisdom comes from my interaction with you.

Anyone can afford $4.95, if there is perceived value!! Money is not the issue.

If you perceive value, if my thoughts and direction resonate, click the button and let’s see what happens.

Maybe a wonderful new chapter in your life will be opened. You would like that and so would I.

What about “Break Free From the Affair?”

I want you to experience success, within 48 hours usually. The ebooks and resources on this page enable that to happen in 85% of situations.

After your emotional feet are on the ground and you reclaim and fraction of your personal power, “Break Free From the Affair” is next in giving you a foundation for rethinking infidelity, your spouse, the affair and your marital relationship.

After you pay the $4.95 I will lead you to another page that offers “Break Free From the Affair.”

You may want it all now or you may want to move step by step. It’s up to you.

I also will introduce you to the Infidelity Recovery Center and the Marriage Building Online Course and personal coaching with me which give you the total package. Again, that may seem appropriate for you now, or perhaps you will be ready in the future.

You choose.

2books

Get Your Copies Right Now
for Just $4.95
And get This Bonus for FREE...

Bonus

10 Keys to Infidelity Recovery + Checklist

The Larger Picture, Clarity and Direction

  • Key #1 to Affair Recovery: Stop Doing What You are Doing
  • Key #2 to Affair Recovery: Calm Your Fearful Feelings and Thoughts
  • Key #3 to Affair Recovery: De-Fuse the Affair
  • Key #4 to Affair Recovery: Rethink Infidelity
  • Key #5 to Affair Recovery: Understand Your Spouse
  • Key #6 to Affair Recovery: Have a Plan
  • Key #7 of Affair Recovery: Act and Not React
  • Key #8 to Affair Recovery: State Your Position
  • Key #9 to Affair Recovery: Craft Powerful Statements
  • Key #10 to Affair Recovery: Achieve True Forgiveness

I Wish I Had Me to Help
with My Wife’s Affair

My wife’s affair was, hands down, the most painful, confusing and embarrassing time of my life.

But here’s the strange thing – it also turned out to be the best thing that ever happened.

The infidelity stirred me, pushed me, grabbed me, shook me and wouldn’t let go.

To be honest, I needed that, and maybe at some level I knew I needed that wake up call.

Personally and professionally I was doing ok, not great but just ok. My marriage was filled with tension, felt by our children. But I reverted back to some old patterns of avoidance.

Infidelity shook my tree. I could not avoid all the rotten apples on the ground.

It was time to MOVE – for my marriage, for my family and for myself personally and professionally.

I moved. I embraced the challenge; sometimes kicking and screaming, but I moved ahead.

I’m grateful I did.

New opportunities opened for me. I began to see life, to enjoy life. A new chapter opened. The infidelity was resolved and my wife and I built a new relationship.

As I look back, I often think, I wish I had me, as I am now, to help me back then through the trauma.

If infidelity has or is devastating your life, family and relationship, you are at the right place.

You can use my hard earned wisdom that has help tens of thousands over the past two decades.

Imagine what it would be like to drain away the fears, catastrophic thinking and move ahead with hope and purpose.

Take a deep breath and let that sink in.

Here’s my promise…

I’m convinced after tons of positive feedback from infidelity sufferers like you, that you will find my resources THE resources to start your recovery process.

  • You will receive a depth of understanding about your cheating spouse and the affair. 
  • There will be moments when you feel the load lighten. 
  • You breathe easier. 
  • Your fears will subside. 
  • Your world will look a little brighter.
  • A spark of hope will arise from within.
  • The fog will clear.
  • Your mind, soul and spirit will shake off the paralysis.
  • You will begin to understand and implement new words and actions which shake your spouse and demand their attention.
  • You will begin to understand the patterns and specific themes of his affair and experiment with changing the rules of the relationship - to invite healing and transformation
guarantee

That means you have 365 days to go through the resources before you decide if you find it valuable.

I guarantee a new road of recovery.

However, if you are unsatisfied, and my guarantee doesn’t ring true for you, I offer a full refund. This refund offer is good for one year.

Merely email me, bob (at) bob huizenga (dot) com and I will refund your order.

I’ve discovered over the years that I can work with about 95% of those who seek me out.

You may be one of the 5% in which there is no fit. That is fine. I suggest you continue your search and would want you to find exactly what you need. My time and your time is to be honored.

Yes, send me the E-Books for only $4.95

You Know...This is Just Your Beginning
MUCH More Awaits You

Look Forward…

I don’t know how you learn. Some take it step by step, moving sequentially through information. Others want it all, the total picture. Jumping ahead or jumping around serves them best.

I want you to understand the process thousands (myself included) have gone through to resolve the affair. Once you know where you will go, you can choose what will work best to get there – step by step.

There are 4 major phases to recovery: 

Phase 1: Change Behavior.

The “Killer Mistakes…” and “Charging Neutral” plus the important Bonus for $4.95
is your first step on the road to recovery. I teach you how to change particular behaviors which will empower you AND most likely change the affair relationship, knowing the change will be temporary.

Phase 2: Rethink and Plan

Use the best selling Ebook, “Break Free From the Affair” to rethink infidelity and clear your mind of the myths and misconceptions that keep the affair going. Replace the toxic thinking with the reality of infidelity – a reality that will create a specific plan for your type of affair.

I will direct you to a page to access “Break Free From the Affair.”

Phase 3: Experiment and Refine

The Infidelity Recovery Center provides it all – a wealth of courses and lessons developed over the past 20 years. These courses and lessons have proven extremely helpful for thousands move ahead, recover and resolve the affair.

I will direct you to a page to access “The Infidelity Recovery Center.”

WARNING and TIP: It is critical that you rethink, understand and resolve the affair relationship BEFORE you work on the marriage. (I refuse to coach a couple if there is a third party involved – just doesn’t work.)

Phase 4: Use the unconscious

Once there is resolution (and we will explore what that means) it’s time to focus on rebuilding your capacity to love and be loved. The Marriage Building Online Course offers courses and lessons that guide and support. 

Personal coaching with me is a resource that has accelerated the healing for many over the years. More on both of these later.

I look forward to working with you.

The best,

Bob

P.S. This is no secret: I want to explore the possibilities of helping you move step by step toward the resolution of the affair and eventually finding a lasting love. The offer on this page is just the first step, obviously. Purchase this offer for $4.95 and I will automatically send you to an upgrade page where you can purchase the best selling “Break Free From the Affair” ebook. I will give more details on the next page after your purchase.

P.S.S. I’m offering proven, doable and practical tools to help you. Over the years many have said I’m shy in letting people know about my offers. So, I want you to know that EVERYTHING you need for infidelity recovery is found in the Infidelity Recovery Center. Purchase the offer on this page, purchase the upgrade “Break Free from the Affair” and you will have an opportunity to register for the Infidelity Recovery Center. Follow the road to recovery.